Hopes. Dreams. Plans. Vision Boards. All things you live by yet, somehow, continue to be unhappy with your circumstance. Why is that?
I believe it comes down to this:
A dream without a plan for action becomes a regret. – dh
Really, if you think about it, most of us that go in and out of ruts are usually stuck on inaction. Things get worse and then we regret the action we didn’t take at the moment we could have taken it.
A decision was made, yes, but, most likely, was against your gut feeling. Or, at that moment, fear of change won that inner battle.
There are things that nudge at you and continue to nudge at you until, eventually, you turn to give them the attention they deserve.
Going against your better judgement will definitely teach you some hard lessons and with those teachings, pain that can result in you refocusing and taking corrective action or a new path.
Regret can be helpful but only if you repurpose it now. No more waiting for things to be ideal, perfect, or a certain way.
If you want to change that circumstance you “wish” you could scratch yourself out of, start with this one regret that I’m sure, plays around in your mind on a daily basis.
Here are my top 3 actions to move past a regret:
I know it sounds so simple. The decision you made then was based on the information you had at the time.
So, even if your gut feeling was telling you to choose the other option, if you didn’t have the capital to invest in that course back then and the option you chose seemed simpler to attain, you chose based on what you had at the moment.
Accepting who you were then and the resources you had, will bump you to a different level of thinking in THIS moment. And allow you to move ahead.
Everything you’ve gone through – the good, the bad, and the not so great – all amount to experience. Did your parents ever say to you while you were growing up “Mas vale el diablo por viejo, que por diablo” (“More knows the devil for being old than for being the devil.”)? What this means is that there’s no substitute for experience.
That regret you have, took you on a journey where you experienced things you may have never had the opportunity of experiencing had you gone the “gut feeling” route. And, I know, it could have saved you a lot of everything but look at it as a teaching opportunity for those you love or a workshop even.
If you have children, you can now teach them through your journey: how to invest better, partner wisely, things to watch out for in a potential partner…the list is endless.
I think this one could be the one that will need the most effort because it requires you to find comfort in change. If I could see you, I’d ask the question: By a show of hands, who is ok with change? Not many people would lift up their hands. And it’s totally understandable. But I want to get you to a point where change isn’t that scary anymore.
Stewing in regret of something you didn’t do is usually a sense of inaction. To take action now, even if years have gone by and you’ve been carrying that regret all this time, may be horror-movie scary. Age, what if’s, perceptions, etc, can all get in the way but you know better.
Change is scary, we like routine. So it comes down to fearing the lack of stability, shifting from what we already know. But when there’s research involved, a plan as to how you’d like to implement this change, the scariness dims down.
Become comfortable with change by putting in some time to research how you’d like to move ahead. And then, take action!
As the days go by and regret sinks even deeper, you begin to wonder if you’ll ever be able to get yourself out. And the answer is, you will.
The future will come and your present will be gone. A new present will appear, one you’ve invested in creating or one you’ve simply arrived at.